Skip to main content

F.U.N.K BLOG SINGLES BITES FEB 2016 : CHRIS BROWN




CHRIS BROWN ft. KEITH SWEAT 
WHO'S GONNA (NOBODY) 
(Soundcloud) 
Remind yourself of the arrest report why don't ya. I guess if R.Kelly can make a comeback we shouldn't be surprised that r'n'b/black pop is willing to let Grammy-winning woman beater Chris Brown back. Shame on Keith Sweat and shame on anyone who works with this infantile, mysogynistic, spoiled, monstrously arrogant, disabled-parking-space-taking, homophobic fucking cunt. Listening back to Sweat's 'Nobody' from 96, that this rejig is based on, you see what's happened to r'n'b since. The sex has been removed in preference of pornography - you could not imagine a more sexless, less-sexy piece of music than this new single, despite its flagrant panty-peeling ambitions. Also the pleading, the vulnerability of the male voice has all gone to be replaced by a nerdish autotuned correctness, a total lack of real emotion hidden in a welter of studio-flash. Brown's not just a cunt, he's an artist peddling nothing but shit, a malformed half-man/half-boy fuckstump who can't actually deal with or even apprehend his own titanic selfishness and irredeemable artistic worthlessness. Fingers x'd that his ego will eventually prove his utter ruin. Fuck him.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A POP DAYDREAM PART I: THINNING THE HERD.

This was my dream. And it was so vivid it really happened. 
I hired a van. The expense was a concern but I needed the capacity. First the long drive north to Middlesborough. I knew he'd be at home, visiting relatives. Made sure my HeadBag was packed. Blindfolds and ballgags. Rope. Some starved, stroppy badgers. Maxi-pack of chloroform-seeped bogroll from Costco. Masking tape. As I eased onto the M1 I told myself again the story of how it was developed from the need for waterproof ammunition casings in WWII. I had to, I was bored, and it's a long schlep up to 'boro. Idly, after securing a mortgage for a bacon roll at Tibshelf, I had an argument with my other personality about whether Middlesborough was in North Yorkshire, County Durham or Teeside. 
Nothing got resolved. A plain-clothes officer pulled me off in the hardshoulder near Malton and issued stern words about punching myself while driving. No hilarity did ensue. I needed to focus. This was a serious business. By noo…

MANIC STREET PREACHERS, ASTORIA, LONDON, 1994, LIVE REVIEW, MELODY MAKER

(photo by Pat Pope, full text)  MANIC STREET PREACHERS  ASTORIA, LONDON  SORRY, lifelong fan, but I’m a new convert. I got into them a week ago and here I am. (They start with “Faster and, after the dub and horrorcore they’ve played, it jarrs and fits perfectly.) OK, see it ain’t attitude cos anyone can do that, just cock a snook and suck your cheeks. It ain’t glamour. Glamour is boring. Glamour is loud pretty people who hug, hug, hug, giggling at your geek self all night. And it ain’t rock’n’roll; it was your rock’n’roll that made a nigger-hater the King, your teddy boys who Paki-bashed for Mosley, Notting Hill 1958, your rock’#n’roll build on SAMBO DON’T SELL. I ain’t interested and the Manics are way beyond that. (“Yes” is Stjepan Mestrovic’s “Balkanisation Of The West” turned punk anthem, as if it could be any more punk. No higher compliment exists.)    The four founding points of Manics songs – one: modern life is untenable. Two: no one ever gets used to loneliness. Three: if tr…

The F.U.N.K 2017 End Of Year Lists Part 1 - Metal

Metal, like hip hop, has had a fucking great 2017. Like hip hop its manifold joys can mainly be found away from the mainstream, certainly light-years distant from the kinds of boybands-with-guitars that seemingly dominate Kerrang-style metal culture. So most of my favourite metal from this year has come from slightly off the beaten track (so much great stuff coming out of Italy this year), much of it found via Bandcamp and those metal bloggers who are so ably covering the anti-scene at the moment. 

Needs saying actually - metal, like hip hop, is one area of music where blogging and word-of-mouth is all the guidance I need anymore - haven't been NEAR a metal mag this year and don't feel like I've missed anything. The bloggers care, and know their stuff so thanks to Angry Metal Guy and Cvlt Nation  and No Clean Singing and Heavy Blog Is Heavy  and The Sludgelord for keeping me vaguely in touch with the best metal in 2017, they've been invaluable. 

These are the metal/doom…