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F.U.N.K SINGLES BITES FEB 2016 - AGAINST THE CURRENT, ASKING ALEXANDRIA, 3 DOORS DOWN

AGAINST THE CURRENT 
RUNNING WITH THE WILD THINGS
(Fueled By Ramen) 
ASKING ALEXANDRIA 
THE BLACK 
(Sumerian) 
3 DOORS DOWN 
THE BROKEN 
(Republic) 

See, you don't wanna pop that lead singer in his stupid fucking face at all do you?

Fucking hell, if this is the state of 'rawk' in 2016 I'm so glad I've been out of the loop ever since all the metal mags fired me. We don't really have heavy rock anymore do we? Alternative kids seem to go crazy for boybands with dark hair, boybands with a bit of slap/a few extra tatts, boybands who sound like a horribly over-compressed din of euro-dance detail played on guitars.   Acts associated with 3DD include Nickelback and Puddle Of Mudd which tells you just how fucking horrible 'The Broken' is, the Killers-style electronic textures unable to hide just what a dull, underwritten song they're pinching off here. Those same textures find their way into Against The Current's sub-Paramore mediocrity. Utter utter shit from everyone concerned.
    Asking Alexandria at least seem to be dimly aware of how to pretend to be heavy, but despite the drummer knowing how to do that double-kick thang (that thang that always reminds me, ever since I watched it from the rear, of those times when the Muppets or Sooty had to 'run') and the guitarists knowing how to have long hair and look a bit grubby it's all entirely fucked up by this horrible helium-afflicted chorus, where as per fucking usual, the lead singer starts sounding like he's ready to be operated on by Guetta/Aviici and shit has to get fucking 'anthemic'. ALL rock now has to be both permanently fixatedly 'anthemic', suddenly take on the hands-in-the-air dynamics of the worst EDM you could imagine AND make you want to kill yourself to get yourself off this lousy stinking rock where this kind of deoderised shitfest is what passes for 'alternative'. What the fuck's happened to rock kids? I remember when it was the townies that hugged, and whined, and needed constant touchy-feely reassurance from each other and their music. Now it's more likely to be fucking rock fans who trade in such sickening fucking sappiness. Thank fuck those metal mags fired me when they did. Voxpopping these Christian-rock fucks would've been a fucking nightmare. By the by, I once REEEAALLLY pissed off Puddle Of Mudd (and I blame cunts like that and Staind and Papa fucking Roach for getting us stuck down this self-piteous, grotesquely airbrushed hole) during an interview in their tour van in Chicago by stubbing my fag out in their stash. Man, were they NOT happy. I cling to these warm memories in these my dying days. Mainstream 'alt' rock music is fucked and dead and fucked. Beyond necrophilia. More like necro-coprophagia. Extremely grim pickings.

Comments

  1. So glad none of this loathsome tripe has, by some freak accident, impinged itself on my eardrums. Anyway, fuck these dismal nonentities, have you grabbed the new Sonance/Torpor split yet? It's absolutely fucking IMMENSE.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sure is - that, the Levelz mixtape and the Split Prophets album have made early 2016 a whole heap of noisy fun.

    ReplyDelete

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